by God commands parents to spank their children. Previous posts have argued that these are commands for modern parents, and the meaning of the statements is not just symbolic but intended to influence actual parenting practices. For example, the Bible says spanking saves children from death (Prov. 23:14) and shows that parents love them (Prov. 13:24). But God does not command empty service or sacrifice (e.g., Is. 58). Instead, God commands behavior that results in something. So what might God intend when he commands parents to spank? One of the primary inspirations for the belief that spanking is doing something comes from Hebrews 12:11:
For the moment, all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
This passage is foundational teaching. God uses physical pain to benefit his children through discipline. This passage may point to the ultimate reason He commands parents to discipline with the rod. Everything God does is good. Spanking is good for discipline ultimately because God, Himself, disciplines with pain. Since this line of reasoning can be taken to extremes and exploited, let’s explore the connection between spanking and training.
How do we know God uses pain to train us?
First, my argument for the utility of pain requires a sovereign God. To justify corporal punishment, God must not only tolerate pain (e.g., there were people Jesus could have healed but did not [Mark 6:5]) but also condone (e.g., letting Satan afflict Job [Job 2:6]) and cause it (e.g., God sent Joseph into slavery [Gen 50:20]). Paul described life as “our light, momentary affliction” (2 Cor. 4:17). Paul’s main point may have been to contrast the hardship of this life with the ecstasy of eternal life with God, but don’t miss that he called this life an “affliction.” You will find many unconvincing ways scholars try to justify God and state God would never cause his children to suffer[1], but none of the arguments I studied hold up Biblically. None of those arguments can comfort us like the truth that God ordains our pain and suffering for our good.
We should spank our children because God “spanks” His children. It is possible to cause discomfort for your child, even physical pain, to benefit them if commanded by God. This thought is consistent with how God created the universe to function, and specifically people. Even secular humans use painful and uncomfortable experiences as agents of change for their good, or sometimes to hold on to what they worked for. What does spanking do? Parents participating in the discipline of children through spanking align with God, ultimately to the glory of God. I will get into how spanking might work in a future post.
What about fear?
If pain can be an agent for our good, how about fear? After all, one common argument against corporal punishment, and even one that influences my thinking today, is that spanking will make the child afraid of the parent. The argument is that children cannot differentiate between abuse and discipline and will likely see all hitting (including spanking) as angry, violent, vindictive, or retributive. Is there any discussion of fear in the Bible to guide us?
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Ps. 110:10, Job 28:28). Modern Psychology seems to have no room for positive fear like the fear of God that results from faith. For instance, the Bible commands us to “fear Him [God] who can kill body and soul” (Matt 10:28). Understanding the power of God puts other fears in context. There is, indeed, a place for healthy and godly fear in the life of a Christian. When God caused pain and enslavement in the Old Testament to Israel, people often responded with fear and would call to God, the person who is causing the pain (Ex 3:7). People would run to Him in distress and not away from Him (Prov. 18:10). God’s criticism was that His people wandered away from Him, and the pain of discipline (not just “natural consequences”) was what drove some back. Modern theologians sometimes try to soften the word fear and use other terms such as respect, reverence, or piety, but another translation of fear (yir-‘at) is “terror.” We can translate Psalm 111:10 as, “The terror of God is the beginning of wisdom.” But Christians can also be confident that God will not fly off the handle and impulsively destroy someone (Num 14:18).
Christians are afraid of being away from God, straying far from Him (to use the shepherd/sheep metaphor), and being out from under the umbrella of the blessing of God. God’s discipline drove His people back to Him. It’s conceivable that our children might get a shadow of the relationship Christians have with their heavenly Father through our spanking. Christians spank when children step out from under their covering, go to a place outside parental protection, or choose to break clear commands. Our children need to see parents as comforters and protectors and as powerful and authoritative people. Obedience is a source of protection (Eph 6:1-3), and children can be rightly comforted by this power and authority (Ps. 23:4).
In the way that Christians should fear being out from under the protection of their Almighty Heavenly Father, I think children can have a sense of that fear of being out from under the God-given authority of their parents. Because of the example we have in our relationship with God as His children, there is room for children to fear parents in Christian parenting. It should be clear that God underwrites this fear, and thus all righteous, holy fear is ultimately fear of God. Parents must have a sense of awe or gravity for the meaning of that proper fear their children have of them, and the One who backs it up, for it to be like the fear that is the beginning of wisdom.
In conclusion, Christian parents should spank because God “spanks.” God sovereignly and intentionally disciplines his children and always gets the desired outcome (e.g., Rom 8:30) because He can fix the heart (Ez. 36:26). We have a limited understanding of certain realities (1 Cor 13:12), so there will naturally be some level of faith when we spank our children. Christian parents can, however, look beyond just a behavior change in their children and expect a heart change when they spank. Christian parents can believe that God will use spanking to change the hearts of their children.
[1] Many of these arguments start from the assumption that a loving God could never cause anyone He loves to suffer. How can it be a loving act to make people suffer, they say? On the other hand, James counted all of his sufferings as “joy” (James 1:2).
